👑 See yourself as royalty

Ever wondered how your self-perception shapes your reality? This episode takes you on a transformative journey to see yourself as royalty. Through the 'see yourself as royalty' method, we explore how your self-image impacts how others treat you. By dissecting common fears about vanity and narcissism, we shine a light on the differences between narcissistic traits and narcissistic mental illness. True self-love, we argue, fosters kindness and humility, empowering you to elevate your self-worth and life experiences confidently.

Join me as I share my personal battle with body dysmorphia and the radical shift in my external reality once I started seeing myself differently. Despite being told I was pretty, I often felt ugly, which crippled my confidence. By understanding that our internal feelings of beauty and worth manifest externally, we delve into how my need for validation repelled attention. Learn how healing my self-image and embracing my worth taught me that true self-worth doesn't rely on external achievements or recognition but comes from within.

In our final chapter, we underscore the importance of self-love and the freedom it brings. Hear how adopting a mindset of royalty not only boosted my confidence but also transformed how strangers treated me—with unexpected respect and kindness. This practice unveiled gaps in my subconscious beliefs, offering opportunities for personal growth. I invite you to elevate your self-love, see yourself as royalty, and walk confidently, knowing that everyone, including yourself, is equally valuable. Let’s harness the transformative power of self-worth and empowerment together. Love you, bye!

Chapters

• 0:00 Seeing Yourself as Royalty
• 13:56 Seeing Yourself as Pure Royalty
• 20:39 Embracing Self-Love and Royalty
• 32:00 Embracing Self-Worth and Empowerment

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome back to another episode. I'm your host, christina Modafari. Today's episode is called See Yourself as Royalty. Alright, so I cannot wait to just really dig deep into this concept. I use this as a method. I'm going to explain all the things. I'm going to explain how you can use this right away, how this has the power. Listen, this has the power to change your life forever.

Speaker 1: 0:29

Okay, so get comfortable, because you're about to be in for a treat. So people treat you the way that you feel about yourself. This is why, if you see yourself as royalty, naturally people will just treat you better. Now how I'm explaining this. I don't want you to just see this literally. I want you to see this in every which way or form, because people treat you the way you feel about yourself in every level. Right? So if you feel ugly, or you think you're ugly, or you think that you're not important, or you think that you are of low status, or whatever it is, people are going to match that. It's impossible for anyone to treat you in a way that you don't see yourself in on some level. Okay, and a lot of the time, people are so afraid of being vain or being narcissistic. So, hearing, hearing the phrase see yourself as royalty freaks most people out, not understanding that wait for it that when someone is actually narcissistic, they actually have a very low self-esteem. Okay, let me tell you, I used to be a therapist and the most narcissistic clients that I worked with or when they were telling me about, you know, narcissistic people and whatever else they were the most insecure people on earth.

Speaker 1: 1:54

Okay, this episode is not about narcissism, but I will give you a bit of a crash course for the sake of this episode, so that we can just get your fears out of the way, so that you can truly enjoy the see yourself as royalty method. Okay, so, just trying to make this very simple, okay, so there are two kinds of narcissists. Okay, the first kind of narcissist is it's a mental illness, it's a coping mechanism, and the second kind of narcissist is not a mental illness and it's just a personality trait. Okay, now, both parties, both kinds, are both insecure. Okay, but the one who has the narcissistic personality trait, they're not aware that they're insecure. That's really the main difference. They are pretty much their whole image and their whole self-worth is predicated and based on how other people admire them.

Speaker 1: 2:51

So, the kind of narcissist who again, it's not a mental illness. It's just literally a part of their personality. Their levels of how much they feel worthy is completely correlated with how well they can get other people to admire them. You get me, and that's why a lot of like charming, narcissistic men or women are very good at you know, love bombing and making you feel special. They're very charismatic. They're very charming because their subconscious intent is to get you to be obsessed with them, and by you being obsessed with them, it's like a drug for them, right, like that's how they function as a personality and so it makes them feel like they're worthy. Them being kind to you is not because they want to be kind to you. It's so that they can once again feel worthy.

Speaker 1: 3:42

Now, the kind of narcissist who it's not like that, it's not a personality trait and it's more of a coping mechanism where people can say it's a mental illness, whatever. The difference is that if they are aware that whatever they're doing, how they're being, it causes them so much distress, like they don't want to be narcissistic and self-absorbed, but it is just the way that their brain has maladapted. Okay, when something is maladaptive, it just means that the brain has adapted to a situation in a way that's quite harmful, as opposed to it being, you know, empowering. It doesn't matter which one, I just want to put it out there. That that's, the people are fearing to see themselves as royalty, in fear of being vain or up themselves, when they don't actually understand the truth of why someone is up themselves and narcissistic and arrogant in the first place. You know, when people you see it everywhere, you see it in society, you see it on social media, you see it in movies, like when someone is perceived as being in love with themselves you know that that's a negative thing. That someone who's in love with themselves, you know that that's a negative thing. That someone who's in love with themselves and vain and obsessed with themselves, they're narcissistic because they love themselves.

Speaker 1: 4:51

No, no, no. Someone who loves themselves is humble as fuck, but they're confident and they're very kind, right? Someone who truly loves themselves, accepts themselves and see themselves as royalty and does it in a healthy way, which is what I'm educating you around. Okay, they are amazing people you have nothing to worry about. Okay, and they are the last people who are going to be self-absorbed. They're the first people who are going to be genuine and sincere to you. They are the first people who are going to help you and want nothing back in return, because they don't need your validation and they don't need you to like them, because they like them. Like, really get that. Yeah, someone who truly loves themselves, sees themselves as royalty and doesn't need no validation from any man or woman or person or societal group, whatever that person, that person is the most opposite end. They are the opposite side of being a narcissist.

Speaker 1: 5:51

Because people again who are either vain or narcissistic or self-absorbed, their self-esteem is deeply, deeply, disturbingly low. Okay, and because of this, you know, and it's you know, it doesn't mean they're a bad person. If you know me, you know that I don't believe that there's bad people. There are just people who do good or bad things right. But like, I don't see this as a judgment, I'm just speaking facts here.

Speaker 1: 6:15

Like I said, that they just have low self-esteem, because someone of a low self-esteem they need the validation and someone who's gone through lots of trauma and have become people pleasers, that causes narcissism too. Like when I had people pleasing trauma, I was narcissistic as fuck. Oh, my God, I was the most narcissistic person I knew at one point in my life. Yeah, because of all my trauma, just like many people out there in the world, the way that my brain had to cope with all the fucked up shit that happened to me growing up. It had to adapt and did the best it could by making me self-absorbed in a negative way for the sake of my survival, and it served its purpose right At the time. I'm not proud of the way I was. I'm just saying that. I'm not shamed of it either.

Speaker 1: 7:01

It's just neutral, right, because I understand how the brain works and I want you to as well, so that you're not afraid of this. Because if you have a high self-esteem which is what I'm teaching you to develop here the last thing you'll ever be is a narcissist. The last thing you'll ever be is vain. You'll be so confident that you literally do not give three fucks whether someone likes you or not, because when you're a people pleaser, truly do not give three fucks whether someone likes you or not. Because when you're a people pleaser, essentially that's a, like I said, a trauma response to you, kind of your brain kind of thinks that it has to get everyone to like you, because someone disliking you is dangerous to the brain and so being a people pleaser is being a manipulator, essentially, and that person is, you know, really suffering because they're constantly not being themselves and they're constantly being who they think they need to be in order to be liked, which, ironically, makes them very disliked. Okay, so, now that you understand that, you have nothing to worry about, that seeing yourself as royalty is not going to make you a narcissist, it's not going to make you a shitty person. It's going to do the opposite, because, once again, someone who validates themselves, there is nothing more sexier, more humbling and more kind than that, because that means that when you truly love yourself inside and out, you never need to manipulate anyone to like you, which means that you always be who you truly are yourself inside and out. You never need to manipulate anyone to like you, which means that you will always be who you truly are, and if someone doesn't like that, it doesn't affect how you see yourself. And that's the concept around my method, around seeing yourself as royalty, because how other people treat you is completely based on how you view yourself.

Speaker 1: 8:45

All right, if you're interested in this topic, please read the book Psycho-Cybernetics. It's an incredible book. It follows the life and journey of a plastic surgeon and he explores all the I guess, contrast between people who change their face and how, when, for some of the people, changing their face changed the way they saw themselves and their whole lives literally changed. Their money levels changed, the way that they uh related to people change, whereas there was some people who changed their face but they stayed the same. It's a whole thing anyway.

Speaker 1: 9:19

My point is that how we see ourselves essentially is self-image. It's our self-concept and our self-image. How we see ourselves essentially is self-image. It's our self-concept and our self-image. How we see ourselves, our identity, okay, is 100% creating our life experience, which is why in all my programs, in my private coaching, I only focus on the two main areas which is identity work, which is what we're talking about now how you see yourself and what you identify as in relation to all things in your life and then, number two, energy work and healing the nervous system. They are just the two main things that most people just have to change and focus on, okay, but today we're just focusing on the identity aspect of this.

Speaker 1: 10:04

A lot of the time, people are waiting to literally be royalty before they can feel important. They are waiting for a certain level of followers on social media, a certain level of fame, a certain level of money or status, to essentially just feel worthy. Right, that's it. That's what everyone wants. We just want to feel, on one hand, whole, perfect as we are enough, unapologetically. Our whole, full selves feel so important just for existing. We just want to be enough and, on the other hand, having all of the things that I just stated, while still seeing themselves as equal to everyone else, being a humble, decent human being, and you can have both. They do not contradict each other, even if your mind thinks that they are a package deal.

Speaker 1: 10:59

And the way that you're going to get that is to see yourself as royalty right now, as a method. You do not have to wait to have more money, more fame, more beauty, more whatever you think you're waiting for before you deserve to feel sexy, important, worthy, powerful, good enough. You don't have to wait. You seeing yourself as royalty, not only will people treat you differently, but all those things that are stated, such as fame, if you want it, success, if you want it, money, more of it, if you want it, they start being attracted to you, because our whole life experience is predicated on how we view ourselves in each area of our lives. And if you ask me, the person who need no validation from anyone else, who doesn't need numbers or money to make them feel important, that motherfucker is the most powerful person in the room and I don't know about you, but I want to give everything to that person, naturally, because they don't need me to. That's just human psychology as well. That is also freaking.

Speaker 1: 12:21

Okay, let's not get into it. I was going to go on a tangent, but all you got to know is that how you see yourself. Do not underestimate it. Do not underestimate it because it doesn't matter. If you had all the fame in the world, all the money in the world, let me tell you that if you still saw yourself as unworthy, do you think you're going to feel good? Because there is real cases. There are people who seriously have been suicidal, have had really messed up mental health issues after getting all the fame and all the money in the world, okay, and they still don't see themselves as royalty. They do not see themselves as important or worthy of anything good, because circumstances don't control that. It's you, it's a choice that you got to make and, like I said, it's not just that you feel good instantly, it's not that you quite literally start seeing your reality morph into serving this identity that you see of yourself, but this is how you create ripple effects in your life, in many areas of your life, and so I want to share my own personal experience of this. So I used to have a very scientific mindset okay, and I say used to because it has its pros and cons, and I just want to take the pros and I'm leaving the cons. So I tested this for years, like we're talking years.

Speaker 1: 13:56

I first stumbled upon this concept when I was in high school. I was really into all this stuff. I've been into psychology and whatever else, probably since I was 16 years old, and I remember hearing it was a different context, but I remember hearing that your beauty was based on how beautiful you felt, so how other men or women would view your beauty. Yeah, it was based on how you felt about yourself. If you felt ugly, even if you were a 10, no one could see that you're a 10 because you think you're a 2.

Speaker 1: 14:33

And so obviously, I was very fascinated by this because, if you know my history, I battled with really, really intense body dysmorphia, specifically around my face right. I used to look in the mirror and I would see the most ugliest person on earth. It wasn't until I was about 20 years old that I started to realize that I wasn't ugly. I started to realize I'm actually really pretty and I didn't know, I didn't see it Like, I physically couldn't see it. It wasn't like I was fishing for a compliment when I was younger and saying, you know, fishing for it because I, low-key, knew I was pretty, I wanted validation. No, I quite literally just thought I was an ugly piece of shit.

Speaker 1: 15:09

If you don't know what body dysmorphia is, it's like similar to the concept of anorexia, but instead of it being about like your body, oh no, it's about your body too, but it's essentially you can't see yourself accurately, right? They're very similar. It's just about perception of self, right, and the brain starts distorting yeah, like what it sees in the mirror, because everything we see in actual real mirrors, right, um, it is a distortion, um, and the only way we can really be in control of that is understanding that we have that weakness, that we are in control of it, that, based on how you feel and see yourself, determines what actually manifests on your freaking face and body in your reality. Anyway, back to my story.

Speaker 1: 15:56

I remember thinking to myself okay, obviously, because I thought I was the ugliest person on earth, okay, I had an obsession with being the hottest person on earth. And so I thought, okay, if I can like trick myself into feeling beautiful, that means that God's going to find me beautiful as well. And so I toyed with the idea at a young age, but it only got me so far because obviously I had bigger concerns. I had, like a mental health issue. But I always understood that there was something legit happening there. It just made too much sense to me for it not to, because I would. Even though I looked in the mirror and I saw an ugly person, everyone in my life not everyone, but a lot of people in my life would call me pretty. So I had something that was like making me doubt what my eyes were seeing in the mirror to some degree. So, and it was enough for me to be curious.

Speaker 1: 16:53

But anyway, it wasn't until, honestly, like a few years down the track that I really started to take it seriously and I would like experiment. So I would, you know, feel confident I'd feel really sexy and beautiful and make it easy for myself. You know, before I went out clubbing, let's say when I had like I'd be all done up, my hair was done, whatever else. I had a really nice outfit and I toyed with the idea where I'm like, okay, like I feel hot, let me see if I get attention. Now, when I needed the attention, obviously I didn't get the attention. I would repel it Because the energy state of needing attention and needing validation it implies that you don't think you're hot. Does this make sense?

Speaker 1: 17:37

But then when I got to a point, as I got older, the more I, I guess, learned and I understood, the more I studied this concept, the more I started to say, fuck, this is so real, this is so it right, this is a snack. And I started to master it. And then it started to express itself in different ways. So it stopped being about beauty because it got to a point where I'm so thankful that I was able to heal my body image issues, my body dysmorphia. Now I feel beautiful, the way God made me. I feel enough, all the things, whatever else, amazing, happy for me, good.

Speaker 1: 18:18

But what I did was I developed the method of see yourself as royalty, because now that that was in place, I actually, on the inside, felt very worthless as a person. I was very ashamed of myself all my life. But then, as an adult, though, specifically, I was like fuck, I'm such a failure, like that's how I thought I'm like I just feel so worthless. Most people my age are getting married, having children, they have like a real fucking career, and here I am still fucking working for myself, barely getting by. I was a self-employed counselor and therapist Like I said, barely fucking getting by, and I just felt like a massive fucking joke and I, naturally, was obsessed with being famous.

Speaker 1: 19:16

I was obsessed with it because that's how it works, right? Just like when I was younger, while I felt like the ugliest person on earth the human brain I coped through becoming obsessed with being the hottest person on earth. Then, when it was about, like my inner worth, my self-worth, when I felt worthless and I felt unseen and unacknowledged and unappreciated, well, I was obsessed with becoming famous because I thought that if I was famous, then I would feel important, I would feel worthy, I'd stop feeling like a piece of shit, right. The same way that I was obsessed with being hot, because I thought that if I became hot, that I would love myself and I'd feel sexy and feminine, not realizing that that's not how it works, that the only way you can obtain the desire that you truly want, whatever that is for you, is to give it to yourself first, because we're not after anything other than feelings. And so, anyway, I started to play with the idea. I'm like, okay, what if, right now, like, I saw myself as pure royalty, like I'm talking like famous, of famous, of famous royalty, of royalty of royalty. I use it as an exercise.

Speaker 1: 20:39

Obviously, at this point I had overcome my issues of needing external validation. I had overcome my issues around needing to be famous for the wrong reasons. Right, this is after that. After that, I was like now I just want to enjoy this, have fun with this. I feel fulfilled in who I am, exactly the way I am, okay, cool.

Speaker 1: 20:59

My next level was I want to see myself. I want to see what happens if I start to see myself as royalty, so to speak, see myself as the version of myself. I have in my head that I fantasize about Like what would it be? Like, what would happen if I just became her? Like, right now, everything fucking changed. So this is the fun part. This is what changed for me. I started to notice that my posture was different. I walked around with more confidence, but because I didn't need validation anymore, I started getting compliments Every room that I walk into. I'm not trying to get attention, but I get the attention. It's just what happens.

Speaker 1: 21:45

And then I started to realize that, in my attempt to simply just practice self-love that's what it was for me I created this method. It's not really, you know that, original. It's a very common thing. That's what it was for me. I created this method. It's not really, you know that, original, it's a very common thing, but I made it specific to me because I spent my whole life not feeling that I felt worthless and I'm like I want to give myself the gift of feeling important and not needing anyone else to tell me that I'm worthy. I'm going to choose to feel worthy just as I am, the way I am, with the amount of numbers I have in my bank account, with the amount of followers I have on social media. I just want to feel all that I am, just as I am. And it really changed how other people treated me.

Speaker 1: 22:30

I get treated with so much fucking respect by almost everyone and the people treated me I get treated with so much fucking respect by almost everyone and the people who don't respect me. It's just a limiting belief and assumption I have about that particular group of people or person, right, which I just use as data because the world is my mirror, because everybody is me pushed out as an opportunity to simply rewire the way I view the world and then, in that moment or the next week or however long it takes for me, that same person treats me differently. Right, because growing up, I had a very deep core belief that I'm hated, especially by women. Right, so see yourself as royalty method didn't work in that situation. Well, it did, but it actually worked so good that it showed me the gaps in my mind. It showed me the gaps in my subconscious programming. So it helped, not directly, it still helped in an indirect way, because now everyone else, everything else, where I don't have a subconscious shitty belief, it just worked out in my fever. People treat me with so much importance, people are kind to me.

Speaker 1: 23:43

Everywhere I go, I will walk around minding my own business. I'll even have my fucking headphones on, like my fuck off headphones. Right, because I like to tune out, listen, be in my own world. I like to listen to headphones? Right, because I like to tune out, listen, be in my own world. I like to listen to things. Right, I'll just be walking, let's say like in a shopping center or like walking outside into the car park. I'll literally have men I'm not kidding guys Like you can't make this shit up I'll have random men. It's like I don't know how to explain it. You know, in movies when, like the person at the door of like a um, like a famous person, or of like a queen, and like they open the door and they've got their arm behind their back and it's so fucking formal and they let you walk first. You're not talking about. I have random men do that to me as I'm walking. What, excuse me? I see myself as royalty and strangers treat me as it. That's what it fucking looks like. Mind you, they don't want anything from me. They don't sit there trying to get my number. They don't sit there trying to be fucking weird, just pure respect. They don't even talk to me, just have strange random people safely. Take a step back and let me fucking walk, right.

Speaker 1: 24:59

I had I still remember another example, so it was a couple of years ago. As a random example, couple of years ago, I was minding my own business, I was working at this cafe, as I always do, and this man came up to me and he just gently he just gently like sat, like kind of bent down with respect, and he just kind of cued me to remove my headphone because I used to have AirPods right and he's like hi, I just wanted to say I come here every Saturday morning. I always see you here, I always see you working. Um, I just paid for your coffee. I hope you have a lovely day. Bye, um, what, excuse me? And then that same fucking situation at that same cafe, over the course of, I say, maybe three to six months, happened, probably another seven to ten more times.

Speaker 1: 25:53

Mind you, it wasn't like, you know, the typical social construct between, you know, men and women, where the unspoken thing, where usually there's a random example when a man buys you a drink, he has a unspoken expectation that you owe him something, right? Well, you owe me a kiss or something, or a date. None of that. It was just hi, I see you, I paid for your fucking coffee. I don't even need to tell you my name, just wanted to fucking serve you. But have a good day. He didn't want anything from me, Never asked for anything from me, right? These are just examples.

Speaker 1: 26:32

And then I also get situations where I make friends with people and they just treat me so nicely. If I go somewhere you know, if it's a shopping center or whatever it may be and someone like maybe one of the workers recognize me, they're just really nice, they're just really kind and warm to me and they want to talk to me. And then I want to talk to them and I create all these amazing connections wherever I go. Everywhere I go, listen to me because I see myself as royalty and I need no validation from no motherfucker. I choose to be important and I choose to love myself and validate myself. I create connections everywhere I go, beautiful connections with people, connections everywhere I go, beautiful connections with people, beautiful connections, and they're always appropriate for me, they're good, they're kind, right. Sometimes it's a brotherly connection, sometimes it's a sisterly connection, sometimes it's just a person-to-person connection, like whatever. There's so many dynamics that exist in the human experience, that exists in the human experience, but seeing yourself as royalty.

Speaker 1: 27:36

The point of this episode is for me to explain to you, remind you, that you do not have to wait for anything. You do not have to be a legitimate, freaking royal person and run a country in order for you to write this fucking moment, feel special and important. You don't need anyone to give you that. You don't need no status to give you that. Only you can give you that. And when you give yourself that, people have no choice but to treat you with the same level of respect. Because let me tell you something Come, bring your ear closer to the speaker.

Speaker 1: 28:18

For me, if it's safe, what you're really after, it's not the fame, as much as you think it is. It's not the success, as much as you think it is. It's not the money, as much as you think it is. You're after respect. That's what you want. You just want to be respected for who you are right now. You just want to be loved. That's it. That's what we all want.

Speaker 1: 28:48

And if you can start seeing yourself as someone who's worthy of that respect, just as you are, regardless of where you're at in your life circumstantially, then your reality has no choice but to conform and bow down to how you already view yourself. And if you don't do this let me play devil's advocate for a moment you'll actually just be getting choked up. I can't even talk because this is like I'm so passionate about this and I think that I'm just really feel like I'm connecting to you right now and I really feel like you need to hear this. So let me try that again. Okay, without choking on my words, listen to me To play devil's advocate.

Speaker 1: 29:38

If you do not apply this method yesterday, if you do not choose to see yourself as royalty and important and respectable and worthy right this moment and validate your goddamn self, then you will be a slave to other people's opinions of you for the rest of your life. If you do not choose to see yourself as important just as you are, without any validity to it, you don't even need any. The only valid reason why you deserve to feel important and respected right now is simply because you exist, because you have the ability to breathe in oxygen. That is more than enough to qualify you, to feel important and worthy just as you are. And if you don't give this to yourself, like like I said, you will spend the rest of your life constantly being an addict to other people liking you. You will constantly be dependent on other people liking you in order for you to like you or for a piece of paper or amount of money to give you permission to be the real, metaphorical royalty that you've always been.

Speaker 1: 30:56

And if you're someone who already has a decent self-esteem which you might be, you might be someone who loves themselves then take this whole freaking episode as an opportunity to rise up, to step up, because if you do not see yourself as royalty, you are not fully being your fully expressed self yet, because every single human on this planet deserves that level of self-love and respect. And if you've taken away anything from this episode, you now understand that it's not to be in love with yourself is being a narcissist. To actually not be obsessed with yourself is what creates a narcissist. But when you're obsessed with yourself in a healthy way, aka you love yourself, you see yourself as important as you are and you validate yourself in every area of your life as a person, as a beauty object, as a beauty and a beautiful handsome, whatever person. You are right. That is the definition of being humble.

Speaker 1: 32:00

Because when you don't, once again, if you don't need anyone to validate you and give you permission to be so in love with yourself, then you'll spend the whole life, like I said, becoming vain. You might just be good at hiding that, or if you're someone who loves themselves already. Like I said, this is your invitation, this is your sign to take it to the next level, and that I hope that, by me explaining the truth behind narcissistic and self-absorbed people, I hope that that has given you the permission and the freedom that you needed for you to fully trust that it is safe to completely love yourself and to walk around like you are the most important person, while still knowing you're equal to everyone else. See yourself as royalty. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening. I'll speak to you next week. Love you, bye.